I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
