Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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