I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
