in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
