6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
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