just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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