YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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