are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
NoShamevember. You game?
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Randomize
