when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
