I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
