He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
