i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
