I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
