I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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