You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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