goodnight i made you a song goodbye
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
