I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
