Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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