I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
