i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
