where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
