Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
