she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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