Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
