dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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