I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
