ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
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