so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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