i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
