What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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