Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Panties = found
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
