thus making me awesome and them whores
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
