My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
