Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize