The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
sex in a hospital.. check
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
