btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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