He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize
