So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
