WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I just made out with a guy for $7.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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