I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
