Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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