I feel great
I just peed on a car
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
