I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Let's get the cat blown out
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
