Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
