i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
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