Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
