just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
