Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
