Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize