Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
