O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
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