i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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