so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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