According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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