yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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