So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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