I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
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