The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Randomize
