Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
