Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
