Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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